Fading in the Distance

If he believed in something, 

it was in the pain of her goodbye.

He knew no greater truth

then the sound of her footfalls

fading in the distance.

As time made all else disappear,

he stood right there, at that corner.

Grasping for the sight of a set of eyes

that could never see him for the man he was.

copyright 2015 salvador cordova

Lying Wetly Next to Her

No matter what I do, I can't get clean of you.

Yea, you carried in the rope, hanging like fruit that dying hope.

Drifting through flowers crushed by soul less feet.

Keeping desire close to the mud, afar from the heart.

Lying wetly next to her in Estancia.

Take me higher, higher, tighter as I come down, 

From the addiction of you.

It's down to me and the dead one.

Deadened like the steel in her heart.

I walk through the fire, singeing and meat falling off.

Alone and forever forgotten. I burn alone.

The visions don't stop, the loving don't end.

The effigy brings nothing, but more.

copyright 2015 salvador cordova

Note on the Dirty Napkin

Just a tired old man, of thirty two.

Warm whiskey in every sip, hugging something

that's long gone.

The note on the dirty napkin she left said

"Why'd you even come back?

You knew I loved him the day we met."

The wind howls all her lies, time and again.

He takes another drink,

Continuing his dance at the edge of the flames.

Knowing he's done been burned.

It's that damn cold that gets him, moving slower, hurting longer.

His mind manufactures warmer weather down in Mexico.

That snow outside his door don't melt with a heart as cold as hers.

All those lies and a gutted life.

And another drink, and another, and another.

His fooled heart just can't thaw this one out.

He stumbles through the snow.

Filled with thoughts of a woman who loved the words letting go.

His mind captures her eyes as he sleeps in the unforgiving cold.

Wishing he could dream, but all he sees is that marooned smile.

copyright 2015 salvador cordova

Whiskey Mornings

Whiskey Mornings

Sunlight crashes in,

My eyes snap open.

Guess they were hopin’

You’d be here with me.

Just another whiskey mornin’,

Just another daybreak without your touch.

Just another day without your love.

All I got is this whiskey bottle to hold.

The years have gone by

And my heart can’t say goodbye.

My hands still long to hold you.

Can’t get used to –

These whiskey mornings without you.

I wish I could undo all the wrong.

To have you here with me,

But like a dog without a bone

Alone is how I’ll be.

Wishing

Do you wish it was me?
When you wake in your bed.
When he kisses your neck.
When he turns out the lights.
I wish I could, I wish I could.
Come on down, take me out.
We're owed a good night.
Like a good dog, put me down, put me down.
Just take off your clothes
and get in my bed.
I wish you would, would you?
There's sweat on my fingers
Love in my hands.
Let me turn out the lights,
Let me love you tonight.
Do you wish it was me?

Your Old Love

Someday you’ll find me.

Under all your anger

And all your hate.

Covered by a warm

Blanket of your wretched love.

You’ll remember the calm

Before your storm

And wonder what it

Was all for.

Your eyes will rain

Down tears.

Too late, too late.

Your spring showers

Can’t deliver a sunny day.

No thing can stop your downpour.

No thing will help you forget.

The rolling thunder of memories.

Every night I held you tight.

Every time I let you win the fight.

All those things you exchanged

For your freedom, for him.

copyright june 2006 salvador cordova

All Your Body Would Sell

These tired eyes weaken,
waiting for the blood letting to begin.
I feel all that I was, seeping,
Waiting for the end.
I remember your lips,
but not their taste.
When love rips,
all is laid to waste.
So goodnight, farewell.
Serenade me with one more lie.
I paid for all your body would sell.
I paid for a dream so high

copyright 2007 salvador cordova

Something to Hold on to

Love is a word so over used. Love her, love him, love that. And we all think we know what love is. These feelings that run through us, the butterflies, the highs a face or a touch or a kiss can give us. I thought I knew what love was. Then I met you. All I thought I knew about that word went out the window. Yea you gave me all those feelings, but they weren't fleeting. They stayed. And you weren't even trying. They became a part of me. The word love wouldn't suffice anymore. You taught me to change that word into life and eternity and forever and my heart is full. You showed me unselfishness. To give everything to another. To have a feeling so deeply that nothing not even time and distance could erase it. Making love became a part of the deal. The word sacrifice disappeared because these feelings for you overpowered any hint of loss. To place that beautiful smile on your face, no thing was too much, too far, too difficult. You are a

part of me somehow,  like my eyes or my lungs or my soul. I couldn't imagine you not being in my life. Many people say I give you my heart, I give you all my love, no one will love you as much as I will. I can't do that. Those are phrases with empty meaning. A man might as well promise you the Sun, the Moon and the Stars. I give you every second you want to spend with me. I give you the highest position in my life. I give you all that you want from me. I give you everything I am and will be. And that, that is something tangible you can hold on to.

A Burning Bed

What price a memory?

The shadows of the pain,

The echoes of the soft rain.

When the thunder came,

Nothing would ever be the same again.

Dreams rot away, waste away, fly away.

Like the love we once shared.

Like the love we once made

In that burning bed.

Always hearing the whispers

Of the wicked words we said.

Copyright 2002 S. Cordova

She is a Fire, the Phoenix

He holds her, but he can't hold her like they all did.

He must be different.

He wants to hold her like the sky holds the moon.

Hold her within himself.

To take, absorb her pain, to swallow her cancer.

Make her whole.

But he can't, she won't let him.

To absorb her pain and swallow her cancer means he would consume her too.

And she is not to be consumed.

She is not to be enveloped by him or anyone.

She is a Fire, the Phoenix.

She is the consumer not the consumed.

So he holds her. Not like they all did.

But in the way that she wants.

He holds her with strength.

Next to him. And he loves her. And he waits.

To be devoured.

copyright 2015 S. Cordova

HINTS OF SPLENDOR

I held greatness so long ago.

Then greatness escaped me.
Was I sixteen or 32?
Or was I just holding you?

You were such a sudden beautiful,

And I just a lonely fool.

Thinking of ownership,

Singing with the band on a sinking ship.

You gave me a hint of splendor.

As pretty as a song

Sung by Angels

At a funeral.

GOOD IS LONG GONE

My home is out in the desert.

Where the scorpion live inside the cattle bone.

All that was once good is long gone.

All that was filthy remains so.

All the rest hid long ago.

Stumblin’ across this dust, this dust and pain.

Shouldering the blame for Judas, for Cain.

The blood spilled on the bones.

The scorpion searched for the flesh that bled.

Those who believe pray for rain.

Those who do not, chew the dirt and kill the snake.

I’ve seen love die and I’ve seen her take.

Take gold, take souls and take men from their homes.

Breathe in the poison of her name.

Swallow the day in which she came.

Fall amongst the dust and pain.

Kill the snake and curse the rain.

BLACK SKIES

When I see the sun cry,

I hear the echoes of your lies.

They snuff the light of the stars

And blacken my skies.

Dark shadows revealing only scars.

ALL YOUR BODY WOULD SELL

These tired eyes weaken,
waiting for the blood letting to begin.
I feel all that I was, seeping,
Waiting for the end.
I remember your lips,
but not their taste.
When love rips,
all is laid to waste.
So goodnight, farewell.
Serenade me with one more lie.
I paid for all your body would sell.
I paid for a dream so high.

A NEW DAY

A drink in her hand,

The smoke hanging thick,

The music hot as sand.

I could feel her body stray,

Searching for the flesh of a new day.

The lessons of a new romance.

She holds my hand as we step to dance.

Clinging to these old bones

That no longer induce her moans.

She smiles as my heart breaks.

Leaving everything she took

As she walks away.

HANDFUL OF DIMES

One dollar, handful of dime',

Only place to go tonigh'

Is out of my mind.

She's running the street'

As I sink into my drink.

The only thing that comes

easily is the pain.

It's always been that way.

So hard to love anyone

I had to fall for her.

This home is nothing but walls,

And every saturday night

It's only their dress that falls.

They lay in my bed of shame,

my lips only savor her name.

HOTEL ROOM

She hid herself in his arms,

In the warmth and black of his chest.

And he held her like holding a dream,

Something beyond him. 

Checkout time was noon,

Her husband expected her soon.

But for a moment she was his and him hers.

They knew everything ahead

would be less than what they held then.

He didn't see her cry.

She didn't see him die.

She did her make up 

As he played with the key.

He dropped it as her phone rang.

I love you and I'll be there soon,

He heard as he left the room.

Walking out on her, 

On the devil in his bed.

LOVE NO ONE

She held him cold natured,

Hinting painfully of rapture.

But she held it all inside

For the vagabonds and idlers to divide.

She loved him so,

But with the biggest wave

She would let him go.

Love no one, save

the one who took your soul.

Love no one, save the one

who took it all.

Love no one, love no one, love no one.

SHE THOUGHT HIM PLAIN

Don't you know I love you, he said

As she soaked in the rain.

Taking him inside her,

Her heels in the small of his back.

Tell me you love me, he begged

And she moaned and slapped him.

Her hips not yet satisfied.

He cried on her breasts and

She thought it rain.

He died in her arms

And she thought him plain.

SELLING LOVE

Your loaded gun eyes

And cutthroat smile.

Throwing men into your pile.

Living at the roll of the dice.

Keeping all your lies high in the sky

Away from loving eyes.

Never understanding the hate you bought.

The hearts you caused to rot.

All the misery your games brought.