Showing posts with label bad love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad love. Show all posts

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Whorehouse Steps


It's a long walk up the whorehouse stairs.
She waits in that room every night.

Don't matter who limbers up those stairs.

He sips the last of the bottle dropping it at his feet.

The shattering glass chases out of his mind the thoughts of a whore.
It was never the size of the wound
But the size of the Sin that stole her sleep.
When you let them write a check for your soul,
You let the Devil swallow you whole.
He knew the devil well. 
She took him in hopes of learning something.
Neither could spell the word God.
But they raged and ravaged against each other.
Sweat mixing with the blood of broken hearts.
And he loved her, but he left her.
And she loved him, but she took on the next one.
As whores always must.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Always After



All of us must fall.
Crumble off the masterpiece we painted
in pastel blues and reds and black. Always black.
Faded like the love you preached
yet couldn't muster.
Holding on to what could have been,
not one single tangible fact.
Just your lying eyes and all we made
on all those blackened nights, lighting the skies with your eyes.
When your body knelt and prayed for me,
calling me to lay in your hellish bed.
A body burning in the sin of all the 
men that took you, then and after. Always after.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Lying Wetly Next to Her


No matter what I do, I can't get clean of you.
Yea, you carried in the rope, hanging like fruit that dying hope.
Drifting through flowers crushed by soul less feet.
Keeping desire close to the mud, afar from the heart.
Lying wetly next to her in Estancia.
Take me higher, higher, tighter as I come down, 
From the addiction of you.
It's down to me and the dead one.
Deadened like the steel in her heart.
I walk through the fire, singeing and meat falling off.
Alone and forever forgotten. I burn alone.
The visions don't stop, the loving don't end.
The effigy brings nothing, but more.

copyright 2015 salvador cordova

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Note on the Dirty Napkin


Just a tired old man, of thirty two.
Warm whiskey in every sip, hugging something
that's long gone.
The note on the dirty napkin she left said
"Why'd you even come back?
You knew I loved him the day we met."
The wind howls all her lies, time and again.
He takes another drink,
Continuing his dance at the edge of the flames.
Knowing he's done been burned.
It's that damn cold that gets him, moving slower, hurting longer.
His mind manufactures warmer weather down in Mexico.
That snow outside his door don't melt with a heart as cold as hers.
All those lies and a gutted life.
And another drink, and another, and another.
His fooled heart just can't thaw this one out.
He stumbles through the snow.
Filled with thoughts of a woman who loved the words letting go.
His mind captures her eyes as he sleeps in the unforgiving cold.
Wishing he could dream, but all he sees is that marooned smile.

copyright 2015 salvador cordova


Friday, April 17, 2015

Voices Scream Desires



Far down, so far down
Where even the cold don’t come
around no more. And life...life
is just a breath away from death.

Voices scream desires.
Some are dead and some are dyin’.
Their words are meant to fuck you up.
Cut you and slice you. Murder.
And we never touch each other,
Scared of feeling.
And I breathe in death.
I breathe your stench,
the flavor of the month.

copyright 2006 salvador cordova

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Whiskey Mornings

Whiskey Mornings
Sunlight crashes in,
My eyes snap open.
Guess they were hopin’
You’d be here with me.



Just another whiskey mornin’,
Just another daybreak without your touch.
Just another day without your love.
All I got is this whiskey bottle to hold.


The years have gone by
And my heart can’t say goodbye.
My hands still long to hold you.
Can’t get used to –
These whiskey mornings without you.


I wish I could undo all the wrong.
To have you here with me,
But like a dog without a bone
Alone is how I’ll be.

Friday, April 10, 2015

Wishing


Do you wish it was me?
When you wake in your bed.
When he kisses your neck.
When he turns out the lights.
I wish I could, I wish I could.
Come on down, take me out.
We're owed a good night.
Like a good dog, put me down, put me down.
Just take off your clothes
and get in my bed.
I wish you would, would you?
There's sweat on my fingers
Love in my hands.
Let me turn out the lights,
Let me love you tonight.
Do you wish it was me?

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Your Old Love



Someday you’ll find me.
Under all your anger
And all your hate.
Covered by a warm
Blanket of your wretched love.
You’ll remember the calm
Before your storm
And wonder what it
Was all for.
Your eyes will rain
Down tears.
Too late, too late.
Your spring showers
Can’t deliver a sunny day.
No thing can stop your downpour.
No thing will help you forget.
The rolling thunder of memories.
Every night I held you tight.
Every time I let you win the fight.
All those things you exchanged
For your freedom, for him.

copyright june 2006 salvador cordova

Monday, March 30, 2015

All Your Body Would Sell




These tired eyes weaken,
waiting for the blood letting to begin.
I feel all that I was, seeping,
Waiting for the end.
I remember your lips,
but not their taste.
When love rips,
all is laid to waste.
So goodnight, farewell.
Serenade me with one more lie.
I paid for all your body would sell.
I paid for a dream so high


copyright 2007 salvador cordova

Friday, March 20, 2015

Flesh of a New Day

  


A drink in her hand,
The smoke hanging thick,
The music hot as sand.
I could feel her body stray,
Searching for the flesh of a new day.
The lessons of a new romance.
She holds my hand as we step to dance.
Clinging to these old bones
That no longer induce her moans.
She smiles as my heart breaks.
Leaving everything she took
As she walks away


copyright 2009 salvador cordova

Sunday, March 15, 2015

She Thought Him Plain

Don't you know I love you, he said
As she soaked in the rain.
Taking him inside her,
Her heels in the small of his back.
Tell me you love me, he begged
And she moaned and slapped him.
Her hips not yet satisfied.
He cried on her breasts and
She thought it rain.
He died in her arms
And she thought him plain.


Copyright 2008 Salvador Cordova

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Love No One

She held him cold natured,
Hinting painfully of rapture.
But she held it all inside
For the vagabonds and idlers to divide.
She loved him so,

But with he biggest wave
She would let him go.
Love no one, save
the one who took your soul.
Love no one, save the one
who took it all.
Love no one, love no one, love no one.


Copyright 2006 Salvador Cordova

Friday, March 13, 2015

A Wild Rhythm


He closed his eyes and could hear her heart beating. A wild rhythm. Like placing your hand over a bristling race horse. So far away and still he could hear her heart. Guiding him. To her. The fervor overwhelmed him. It was more than he could handle. But it was all he wanted, so he took it. So far away. Yet, in his soul, in his heart, in his being she was right there holding him. Loving him. And he loved her. Distance meant nothing.



Copyright 2015 Salvador Cordova

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Judas Spoke....

I remember how you bit your lip
As Judas spoke.
Still you boarded that one way ship.
Leaving behind all the smoldering smoke.
How long before your soul began to rot?
Could you smell the decay day to day?
At what price was your love bought?
To the highest bitter or whoever would pay?

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

A Good Time had by All


They all loved me and I loved them too.
I know because we said and wrote and screamed
Those filthy words to each other.
Them with their inviting smiles and my mother’s eyes
And proud breasts and needy lips and bashful navels
And eager wet spots and friendly thighs and boring lives
And, oh yes, their husbands.
Can’t forget them, they did not.
Each of them just like a new world
Wanting to be explored.
And me with my secret and my anger and inadequate
Emotional intellect and my smile and hungry heart and
Youth and rigid compass and my shame and my eagerness
And soft hands and homeless soul.
We’d find each other from time to time.
They’d ask to dance so we’d find a cozy little place.
Rub our hips together and sway with the beat.
They’d ask for a good time and I’d order
Some up and we’d drink and laugh and sometimes cry.
They’d ask for tomorrow and I’d give them tomorrow.
They’d ask to make love in the rain and I’d
Place their ankles on my shoulders and fuck them
On the hood of their husband’s car.
They’d ask for a kiss and I’d turn away.
They’d ask about my secret and I’d lie.
They’d run to me and I’d push away.
The minutes of passion flowed from one to another.

The seconds of tenderness never gave fruit.
I’d ask them to forget their husbands.
They smiled so reassuringly and walked
Away without making a sound.
My secret stayed with me and my anger
Grew and my heart learned to listen for the
Sound of snakes slithering around me.

May 21, 2006 Copyright Salvador Cordova

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Hotel Room

She hid herself in his arms,
In the warmth and black of his chest.
And he held her like holding a dream,
Something beyond him.
Checkout time was noon,
Her husband expected her soon.
But for a moment she was his and him hers.
They knew everything ahead
would be less than what they held then.
He didn't see her cry.
She didn't see him die.
She did her make up
As he played with the key.
He dropped it as her phone rang.
I love you and I'll be there soon,
He heard her say as he left the room.
Walking out on her,
Walking out on the devil in his bed.



Copyright 2008 Salvador Cordova

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Good is Long Gone


My home is out in the desert.
Where the scorpion live inside the cattle bone.
All that was once good is long gone.
All that was filthy remains so.
All the rest hid long ago.
Stumblin’ across this dust, this dust and pain.
Shouldering the blame for Judas, for Cain.
The blood spilled on the bones.

The scorpion searched for the flesh that bled.
Those who believe pray for rain.
Those who do not, chew the dirt and kill the snake.
I’ve seen love die and I’ve seen her take.
Take gold, take souls and take men from their homes.
Breathe in the poison of her name.
Swallow the day in which she came.
Fall amongst the dust and pain.
Kill the snake and curse the rain.

Copyright 2006 Salvador Cordova

A Burning Bed


What price a memory?
The shadows of the pain,
The echoes of the soft rain.
When the thunder came,
Nothing would ever be the same again.

Dreams rot away, waste away, fly away.
Like the love we once shared.
Like the love we once made
In that burning bed.
Always hearing the whispers
Of the wicked words we said.

Copyright 2002 S. Cordova

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

She is a Fire, the Phoenix


He holds her, but he can't hold her like they all did.
He must be different.
He wants to hold her like the sky holds the moon.
Hold her within himself.
To take, absorb her pain, to swallow her cancer.
Make her whole.
But he can't, she won't let him.
To absorb her pain and swallow her cancer means he would consume her too.
And she is not to be consumed.
She is not to be enveloped by him or anyone.
She is a Fire, the Phoenix.
She is the consumer not the consumed.
So he holds her. Not like they all did.
But in the way that she wants.
He holds her with strength.
Next to him. And he loves her. And he waits.
To be devoured.

copyright 2015 S. Cordova

Sunday, January 16, 2011

FALLING APART

Why can’t you hold me
As I’m falling apart?
Why can’t you tell me
I’ll be healed by your heart?
Where can you be?,
The person I knew at the start.